Lord Ganesha and India Inc, Part - I

Lord Ganesha has this great desire to Visit India and see if all Indians are doing good and Living in Harmony. So he takes the permission of Lord Shiva and Lands in India. He first decided to land in South India and then move Northwards.

It was a usual Bandh day in kerala - protesting against Dissolution of Assembly in Bihar by the Bihar Governor. Ganesha walked into the Trivandrum secretariat. In the entrance, as usual, he could see two or three groups of people conducting Indefinite Hunger strike and Shouting Slogans. Then he slowly walked into Chief Minister, OC’s cabin. OC apprised him of the Groupisms and Left’s stubbornness in the Gods own country.

Ganesha : Hello OC. How is Congress party doing in Kerala ?

OC said : Lord, Its 2005. 3G. And (with a wicked smile) these days, we have A,A1,A2,B,K,I,N groups within Congress itself. Then we have CPI and CPI(M). Then we have Muslim Leauge. Its difficult to manage all their wish lists.

Ganesha was wonderstuck. He, however, to help his people out, spoke to different leaders, did a night out and came to OC the next day with an amicable solution. OC read it carefully.

OC said : But Lord. Y’day night, something weird happened - The 'K' group in Congress is split into two and Now we have 'K1' and 'K2'. CPI (M) might support 'K2' and 'B' group might stand with 'K1'.

Ganesha, Like a CAT aspirant, noted down the new changes and Met OC again the next day with his new proposals and Logical ability based solutions.

OC said : Oh ganesha !! Y’day night too something more happened. 3 MLAs from 'A1' and 4 MLAs from 'K2' joined And made a new party called Congress-S (sonia) and they might get support from 'A' group of Congress.

Ganesha did another night Out and found out another solution. But then OC reacted this way.

OC said : Congress A leader Mr A.K. Antony resigned as an MLA and has given his nomination papers for Rajya Sabha seat. So 'A' group is going to be merged with 'I' group and 2 MLAs from A1 are joining K2.

With this, Ganesha was very happy. He could see Kerala in its very very normal state. So with extreme happiness he left for Bangalore to inspect Karnataka. If at all anything is smooth in kerala, its just the parts splits, M&A's and Bandhs.

In Bangalore, Ganesha found CM Dharam Singh (DS) confused with Bangalore Infrastructure plans, Cauvery Issues and Software Export expansion plans. However DS apprised Ganesha about everything. Then Ganesha was taken to INFOSYS to address the Software Engineers. He planted a Tree in Infy campus and spoke to various IT Co heads and powered their intellects. They talked him about Billing Pressure, Margin problems, Anti-Outsourcing measures, VISA problems, Technology Change Management and Six Sigma challenges.

Ganesha Took almost a week and found out an approximate solution for all these issues. So the next week, they all met at WIPRO and applied thoughts. But here AZIM premji put a Bombshell.

Premji : Oh lord Ganesha!! Last week something new happened. Six Sigma’s new variation 6.3A SigmaX was launched and 17 of our clients wanted their Core Business software to meet the new standards which requires a big revamp from ourside. Our horizontal Integration with the Vertical Differentiation would lead to new structuring of our organisations to Comply with TCM , TQM and PCMM issues and Optimally Redesign our Global Delivery Models.

Ganesh : But last month only you did a Vertical Integration from your then existing Geographical structure.

Premji : Ya, that restructuring gave us an edge in the Domain Skill Competency and Functional Expertise in developing Core Business Solutions and Consultancy. Now we are Technologically Differentiating the Vertically Integrated Business Units w.r.t client requirements and complexity of their varied and Distributed IT platforms. Combined with this the new Knowledge Management System is devised to Minimize our Through Put and Cycle time and position ourselves to benefitting our stake holders.

Ofcourse, Everything went over head for Ganesh also. So to experience the real change, he went to the core developers' area. Things were as usual there also - With Developers, who almost resemble Ganesha except for his trunk, cutting and Pasting from a previously developed program. Just the Names and Jargons used by CEOs change. They (CEOs) Integrate on sundays , Differentiate on Mondays, Redesign on Tuesdays, Deliver on Wednesdays and Quit on Thursdays with heavy pockets. Developer's don't Care.

Ganesha was very happy. Things are their at their very normal state in Bangalore also. So he moved to Chennai to meet the Makkal there. He, there, Talked to Dr. JJ about cauvery issues, post-veerappan situations, Sankaracharya, Software, DPA, DMK, AIADMK,PMK and TMC.

He walked around Chennai - Every road was neat there. Every Port was clean there and every one had cell phones. Upon enquiry, he realized that all the Money allotted to the entire country for telecom, Golden Quadrilateral and Shipping came to Tamil Nadu somehow. On further Investigation he found three central Ministers – of Finance, Shipping Highways and Telecom were from Tamil Nadu. People had Cellphones, Money, Airports, Trains, Buses, Employment, Education, Movies and lot of staple food. They lacked just one thing – Water. Every drop came at a premium. Thanks to Cauvery Deadlock on which the political parties are slinging mud at one-another.

That day DPA head MK had processions all over Chennai against Dr.JJ on her mis-handling cauvery issues. Next day JJ make big procession on Central Finace Minister PC not allotting the money for De-salination plant and Charged him and DPA on mis-appropriating funds to the state. The third day, Rajani kant’s Chandramukhi was released and nobody (not even party people) was found on the streets.. All shops were closed and no vehicles plying. A totally Happy Lord Ganesha, Having felt perfect Normalcy in T.Nadu proceeded to the next state, ofcourse after watching Chandramukhi..

So what could have happened in north India ? Bye for now pals ! The North-Indian Episode will be Publised as part -2 and Until then Arun signing off. Have a good de. Write your valued comments.